~ Identification ~

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Chapter 16— Pre-Chapter Quiz:

 

Question 31: what are my experiences with identification?

4.) I once experienced it with a toxic ex

&.) I once used it after losing a beloved dog

t.) My grandfather once described it to me

1.) I have no experience with this thing

 

Question 32: What allows identification to work?

$.) People like people who are similar to them

h.) Con men can’t con someone they don’t know

s.) The belief that nothing wants to hurt itself

^.) None of the above

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The second to last piece of the shadow is called “Identification”. I know, Identification sounds like a weird way to hide someone’s true identity, but let me explain. This type of “Identification” is about connecting one’s identity, with that of another's; it’s like blending together the paint colors of black and white until you can’t decipher which is which anymore. (Metaphorically, and emotionally, everything turns gray). In terms of WHOs, there is no more black and there is no more white when it comes to Identification. There is no more distinction between your shadow, and that more powerful, external force. 

 

There is only

“Unity”.

 

Your shadow has felt so overpowered, so weak, weaker than it’s ever felt before, and so it blends with something new. It blends with the very source of its fear and weakness. Identification, in short, is when your shadow finds its own shadow, because the best defense is to have no enemies. Your shadow doesn‘t need vast power, resources, or soldiers to defend its kingdom from attackers that don’t exist. Your shadow is aiming to create an mental (and internal) alliance by blending the external source of its pain. It tries to blend itself with reality, specifically so reality won’t attack anymore. The math is simple:

Attackers don’t want to hurt themselves, So if you are considered part of the attacker, then they won’t attack you because you are part of “themselves”.

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To your shadow, identification is becoming the pain, so that the pain stops coming. By becoming one with your enemies, you have no enemies. There is no you, and there is no them, there is only us. There is only unity - only one identity.

That is why it’s called identification.

Identification is often used in situations where someone else has all the power, and is making your life a living hell. A classic example of this is Stockholm Syndrome, in which hostages, once pushed far enough, begin to identify with, and even defend their hostage takers (“Stockholm Syndrome”). This is one of the major criticisms of the story Beauty and The Beast by Disney. Most people believe, and perhaps rightfully so, that Belle wouldn’t have fallen in love with an abusive, furry monster unless she had began suffering from this syndrome.

In all my years on earth, a great 23 (Okay, maybe I’m not old enough to use this yet), I’ve never felt myself experiencing Identification, but the most common one I’ve heard of and seen in pop-culture is having an abused wife defending her husband and his actions, talking about how he’s trying to change and how he’ll do better. Some of this may just be to not have to talk with the police (at least, that’s how it’s often portrayed in movies), but a lot of the time these types of people can be seen as Identifying with a huge threat on their life — Their abusers.

Identification is tricky, because you really believe that it’s a positive thing. It’s admiration, loyalty, unity, and even, dare I say it — Love. What could possibly be wrong with that?

For the most part, admiration is a wonderful thing to have. It allows you to recognize what you want, and for you to finally begin to move towards it. The problem lies in when you identify with the wrong thing for the wrong reasons. Changing What you have, or What you identify with, doesn’t change WHO you are. In such, there will always be this underlying tension of “This doesn’t make sense. I don’t like this. This

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isn’t me. Why am I keeping this shit around? It just pisses me off. I’m pissing me off.”. In the end… it’ll simply drive you mad.

So, how do you identify identification? Well, for starters, you can understand that this particular thought is almost always “Teleported” into your mind. We’ll discuss magic and how it is used to con you and the ones you love in the next  book, but for now, understand that there are 3 main ways magicians like to teleport their items, and 2 of them can be applied here.

The first way a magician will teleport his item is to simply have it already be where it’ll end up. For example, a magician may have you pick a card, have you put it on top of the pile, and then PRETEND to place your card in the deck. Maybe he placed a different card in the deck. Maybe he made it look like he placed your card in the middle but it’s really only the second card from the top. Maybe he put it on bottom… IT DOESN”T MATTER!!! The point is, when he snaps his fingers and says his magic words to “make it teleport”, he’s in effect doing… nothing! Because the card’s already on top, there’s no sleight for you to catch while he says these magic words, and since you were only looking for a sleight when there was none, you’ll of course see nothing, and the card will appear to have “teleported” to where it needs to be. You can’t catch how he moved it if he never moved it at all.

This same idea can be applied here. There are probably different things that you have already had in common with the idea, thing, or person you’re identifying with, but now they seem more prevalent due to the way you’re directing your attention. The key in this case is to understand what your priorities normally are; and to understand that your traits, your priorities and so on ARE NOT YOU. They’re what you have. Likewise, the Whats for the other thing you're identifying with is not WHO it is, but merely what it has. If your shadow is using this thing out of fear, as some sort of secret survival tool, you may start to THINK you love this item, but really, you NEED this item. Again, WHOs can be desired, wanted, loved, but they cannot be NEEDED. You can only need Whats. The fact is that, in order to understand if you’re identifying with the

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wrong thing, you first need to have a very good idea of WHO you are. In such, Identification should be the last piece of your shadow for you to attempt conquering.

The second way a magician may attempt to teleport his items is to hide the method of transportation. Picture a big stage with two spotlights, and two big boxes. The spotlights are shining on each box. One box is on the left and one on the right, separated by a big gap on stage. Now imagine a man has been put in the box on the left. The lid is closed, and after a few seconds, while his assistant is chanting his magic words, he appears again, but this time coming out of the box on the right. What happened? Well, he most likely traveled through a tunnel under stage. I know, this is a rather simple idea for a trick, but that’s the point. I’m not here to confuse you with magic tricks in a book that’s supposed to be about psychology and inner peace, okay? Get your head outta the gutter. (Until book 2 where I’ll be going over this type of trick in detail!😜)

Now then, if a man can travel from one box to another through hidden passageways, what’s stopping thoughts from entering your mind in a similar fashion? Did you know, good advertisers are very picky about everything on a package - even down to the coloring! The color orange, in fact, is considered a cheap and less well-made color. So, if you go to any main brand stores, you’ll almost certainly see ALMOST NO ORANGE. Orange is also to color of creativity, so products used for that purpose maaaaayyyy include it, as a key exception. Some advertisers use the apparent cheapness to their advantage. Cup noodles, as most college students know, is easily identified by its orange packaging, because its main selling point is that it’s cheap. Also, it’s been hypothesized that one’s favorite color may actually be a symbol for the personalities of the owners. If a color can insinuate value or meaning, why can’t someone’s words they say, or even the words they DON’T say, have an effect too?

Now, for this to help you with identifying identification, the lesson is simple, just because you share your messages a certain way doesn’t mean that’s the only way for them to be shared. Even if you send your messages one way, you might still be able to interpret them in other

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ways. Never assume that your way of speaking or communicating is necessarily correct, and never assume that just because you’re consciously thinking one thing, that that’s all the thinking that’s going on. Your brain is a much trickier item than that.

Sometimes, what ISN’T said is far more important than what is — such as with presuppositions. They’re used often in everyday life, but salespeople have found a very interesting use for them. You see, a linguistic presupposition is something that is simply assumed to be true by the speaker. For example, if I asked “Why do you hate me?” This isn’t just asking “Why?”. It’s asking why “you hate me”. In such, it assumes that, no matter what, you must, in fact, feel hate towards me. If you were to simply answer the question directly, with a reason, no matter what answer you gave, you’d be confirming the fact that “you hate me” is true. If it isn’t true, your best chance is to not answer the question and simply state “I don’t hate you! I could never hate you my friend.”

Another example of presuppositions is something I like to use in compliments. Sometimes I say things like, “What’s amazing about you is your ability to make people smile no matter what they were feeling a moment ago.”. Now, if they say “Oh, I’m not that amazing.” they still acknowledge that they make people smile, and if they say “Oh, I don’t make people smile that much.” then they still accept the fact that they’re amazing. They won’t notice this consciously, but unconsciously I’ve given them something that’ll brighten up their day, sooner or later. This is often used in arguments from politicians as a “Snuck Premise” (Houpert, How To Win 6:02).

A snuck premise is when you pre-assume that your side of the argument is true while asking a question or making a provocative statement. Because presuppositions are often unnoticed, but assumed to be true, this will often trick people into arguing for a belief they don’t believe in, and so their new argument falls apart. In short, snuck premises are ways to make someone accidentally Identify with a belief that isn’t theirs. It’s a common form of everyday psychological warfare.

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I want to tell you that even with something as simple as words, which you assume you’ve understood COMPLETELY every day, there are still pieces you’re accepting without understanding. The truth is, what you hear is incomplete. The same can be said of your other senses. You must be ready to accept that there are things that you identify with, and truly believe are yours, but are merely on loan to you. These could be shared thoughts from a friend, a clothing style from your favorite celebrity, a subtle meaning from within a song on the way to work. The list goes on, seemingly forever. You must understand that simply because you identify with a person, that doesn’t mean that you should. Just because you are similar in one aspect, doesn’t mean you should defend them in another. Not everyone you like to be around is a good person or will lead to good things, and most of the time, if you identify too closely with them, that’s actually a high sign that you need to step away as soon as possible; before their identity swallows you whole. If that happens, separation starts to feel impossible, and for some people, that feeling may actually be the truth.

Identification is tricky, so if you feel scared, seek professional help, and save it for last in this book.