~ Never Silence A Loud Mouth ~
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Chapter 32 — Pre-Chapter Quiz:
Question 63: why is it important to listen?
d.) something French Related
!.) it reveals their weaknesses
5.) you may already agree
c.) both ! And 5
Question 64: what’s nice about listening to disagreements?
-.) something to do with the moon
p.) something to do with a car
*.) something to do with an apple
e.) something to do with an equation
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Chapter 32: Never Silence A Loud Mouth
"Patience is not passive; on the contrary, it is active; it is concentrated strength."
- Edward Bulwer-Lytton
Even after being able to listen first, convert later, you should understand that the power of questions still remains true. While you aim to listen, you should always be asking questions of others, but if you’re truly conversing properly, and with your mind on separating WHOs from Whats, with wisdom, then you should definitely be allowing them to ask questions of you while you aim to convert them as well. First you asked, for the sake of understanding. Now let them ask, no matter what you feel their reasons may really be.
Almost everyone believes in justice, but to them the question is what justice means to someone like you, and if a liar asks you for that type of information, it means that they’re not sure if you’re being unjust anymore, and that’s a GREAT first step. That means that they’re willing to listen to you, even if it frustrates them to do so. They’re starting to think that your method may be more “justified” as a path for them than their own. This’ll hurt their ego, and make them feel weak or vulnerable. They may act out in different ways, but they still feel that they may learn something from you. That much is clear. If you’re truly trying to help them through conversion, and not just being a punk (con artists of all sorts can usually tell if you’re being insincere, so it’s best to find a way for you to both win, at least on the first few occasions), then them questioning what you’re saying or even your motives for saying it IS A GOOD THING! You’re only there to help after all. You have nothing to hide. By this point in time you should just be speaking the truth anyways
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(Due to chapter 10). It’s going especially well if they’re asking you about your motives. Most people in your situation would assume the opposite. They assume that if their partners in conversation ask “Why are you saying this?” That they’ll never listen to you either way. But you listen to me. They may still be leaning towards you being unjust, but they are starting to have doubts. Otherwise, they’d just tell you that you are being unfair and to just “piss off!” All you have to do, is be civil and show that you’re justified, and not out to get them. All of that is true, if you’re doing this properly. So just show them that you’re there to help. If they ask for your motives, they're really just asking, "How do you think this is justified?" and, in such, on a deeper level, are asking "What is your definition of justice?" If you answer this right, then they may feel that you, are actually being more justified, then them, in terms of their own dreams.
Don’t be condescending. You should always be listening to them too, but definitely let that doubt of theirs fester at the beginning. They should be allowed to feel, whatever it is that they need to feel, at any given moment. Let them doubt you, and be scared of your justice. It's the ability to see our future risks, BEFORE we get hurt by them, that has helped many humans survive for so long. It's only natural for them to feel scared of change, and, in their minds, scared of you.
"A wise man can learn more from a foolish question, than a fool can learn from a wise answer."
- Bruce Lee
Now that you know what their fears are (because they literally just told you), then if you can be KIND and subtly show them that they’re fears are UNREASONABLE, beyond their doubt, then you’ve proven your point beyond, any, reasonable doubt, and they’ll thank you for it. Nobody wants to have an unjust verdict, and they’ll probably be embarrassed if they did have one before talking with you. Again, people often think of their thoughts, opinions, or beliefs, and so much more, as an extension of WHO they are. To them, you’ve basically amputated a
part of them off, saying that it was seriously unhealthy, and a disgusting piece of WHO they are as a person, so it needed to be removed as soon as possible. That hurts, clearly, even if the amputated part is an opinion, rather than a limb.
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Before, during, but especially AFTER a disagreement, you should always make it clear that you see What topics of discussion you disagree on as a completely separate entity from their own self-worth, and WHO they are as a whole. If they end up agreeing with you, after being against you, thank them for being so understanding and so reasonable, no matter what obstacles they may have put in your way. Those obstacles aren’t them, after all, and as such, they should be treated separately. Let them know what great traits you’ve seen in them throughout this whole conversation, and let them be proud of the fact that they found the “right” path in life, even if you helped them out a little bit. No one wants to agree with an asshole, or a narcissistic braggart. Showing off your “supreme negotiating skills” will only lead to them reverting back to your opposition as time goes by. Though it may not be immediate, it will happen. Trust me, as a naturally arrogant man, I have fallen into this trap many times when first starting off, and still do on occasion.
"A fool flatters himself. A wise man flatters the fool."
- Edward Bulwer-Lytton
And if they still disagree? Accept that there may be no changing their minds at this point in time, and understand that even their minds are not them. You can still care for someone, even if their views are… less than logical, honest, or intelligent. Besides, there’s more than one way to con a con man (Which is why books 2, 3 and 4 are being written, as key extensions to this final section). Be super polite here as well, and make clear to them that while you disagree with their thoughts, you still appreciate them and their existence. Let them know that even if they disagree with you, you do not see that as a sign of them being a bad, or terrible person. And finally, if they’re continuing to disagree, you should make it visible that you’re taking some time after these discussions to re-
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evaluate your own stance. You do not need to accept their opinion entirely, but perhaps look at some hidden truths that you hadn’t considered before, and can agree with, as well as anything that you both may have missed. These types of actions set them up perfectly for the methods in the coming books ahead.
Things have been left out of this conversation altogether. That’s one fact to be sure of. There are infinite possibilities after all, and so they cannot all be brought up, within a single debate. They can't even all be mentioned, within a single lifetime. There is always more to learn, and there’s always more to unlearn, as well.
"Be silent, or let thy words be worth more than silence."
- Pythagoras
